When Others Got What You Want
1 Samuel 18
8 And Saul was very angry, and this saying displeased him. He said, “They have ascribed to David ten thousands, and to me they have ascribed thousands, and what more can he have but the kingdom?” 9 And Saul eyed David from that day on.
David returns back to his home land celebrating a huge victory. When others feared facing Goliath, David courageously faces him and by relying on the strength of the Lord is able to take him down. He is welcomed by throngs of people congratulating him on the epic defeat. As the group rallies to meet the King Saul, the women together sing, “Saul has struck down his thousands, and David his ten thousands.” This instills a spirit of jealousy in Saul as he is now filled with anger and rage. From that moment on, any sighting of David failed to sit well in Saul’s heart. It’s because of receiving the words from that song and letting it fester in a dirty place that Satan overtakes the heart and spirt of Saul. This evil spirit overtakes him to the point where Saul feels that his position of power is treated as he now sees David as a threat that he is even willing to kill and destroy.
It’s crazy how even the slightest moments can trigger jealousy to rule our hearts when we start getting the idea that others have what we don’t. When I would witness others getting married and having thriving families, or even young leaders assume positions of leadership that I for some reason could never obtain (the list goes on and on), I could feel my spirit becoming bitter, enraged, and jealous without even knowing it. It would even take me years in some instances to come to a realization that I was operating out of dirty water. The turning point for me was when I was able to release my own dreams, desires, and exceptions to Jesus while genuinely blessing the victory of others. It’s almost always at those moments when I let go that God reminds me of where He has me, grants me peace, and rather than being fixated on others shift my to Him and what He’s doing inside of me.
Forgive me Father for allowing moments to get the best of me. I give to you my jealousy, bitterness, and anger in exchange for love, blessing, and joy for others to thrive in Your Kingdom. Thank You for loving me enough to have Your hand over my life in where You have me now so that I can be blessed and not cursed. I trust in Your perfect timing. In Jesus name I pray, amen.